I've been meaning to post about this for a while...I was listening to one of my favorite talk radio hosts, Michael Medved, a few weeks ago and he brought up as a topic this article in Newsweek. It's written by a man detailing his experiences with a new emotional disorder: Male Postpartum Depression. "What?!?" I thought when I heard Medved mention the topic. I HAD to listen to the rest of the show to hear what this was all about. For those who may not want to read the article, I'll just paste some pertinent quotes here.
When a child was added to my life, it was as if something enormous and coveted was subtracted in return, and the transaction left me reeling, like someone who'd just gambled away his soul.
Really? Gambled away your soul??? It's so sad that this is how so many people in our society view children.
It seems ridiculous on its face: men don't do the hard work of carrying a pregnancy for nine months. We don't have to bear the pains of labor. We never had an umbilical connection to our children. We just have to hang on tight. But giving my emotions a name, and an explanation, helped me feel less alone and better able to cut myself some slack. Before then, even calling it depression felt like an excuse for weak, pathetic behavior.
From WebMD: Postpartum depression seems to be brought on by the changes in hormone levels that occur after pregnancy. Any woman can get postpartum depression in the months after childbirth, miscarriage, or stillbirth. That's right. Postpartum depression is not just an emotional disorder. It's a hormonal imbalance caused by pregnancy - as in, not something experienced by men. The author of the article is right about one thing: his was an excuse for weak, pathetic behavior. Man up.
But not 48 hours after we returned home with our boy, a truth dawned on me with shocking force: my life was gone. Movies, sleeping, long showers—all gone. We became slaves to this tiny new thing living in our home, and there was no going back.
With attitudes like this regarding children, is it any wonder that the Culture of Death has taken its greatest toll on our children in the form of abortion?
I ceded nearly complete authority to my wife, then blamed both her and my son for my feelings of loss and insignificance. I took on every parental responsibility with sucked-up reluctance on the outside and contempt on the inside. My wife seemed to consider me selfish and irresponsible. She was tired, she'd say, of parenting both of us.
I feel sorry for both this man and his wife. He was being selfish and irresponsible. He concludes the article by saying that he and his wife subsequently divorced - and can you really be surprised? How sad that something that is supposed to strengthen marriages, solidify the bond between husband and wife, bring life and joy to their family, and enable the spouses to rely on each other (and sacrifice for each other and their children) eventually brought about the demise of this man's marriage.
To me, this article demonstrates one of the most damaging by-products of the feminist movement: the de-masculinization of our men. As our women demand more and more to be like men, men subconsciously realize that they no longer have to behave like men. I'm so thankful to have a husband who takes his role as husband and father seriously.
It seems that our society has become completely hedonistic - seeking pleasure as the ultimate good and forgetting that our life here on earth has a greater meaning and that suffering can and should be good and holy and redemptive.
Ok, I'm off my soapbox for now. I'd love to hear what you think.