Finally...some recent pics

I've just simply not had the energy or time to sit down and post some new pictures and an update since the election. But I find myself with some time now - so here goes.

Life with Clare at 15 months has very few dull moments. Maybe when she's asleep. Speaking of sleep, it's been really interesting trying to get her to sleep. She's sleeping alone in her big girl bed through the night, but since we got back from Minnesota it seems like there's always been an extenuating circumstance that makes it so that we have to baby her a bit. The month of November she's been teething (molars -- ouch!) and getting over a cough/cold. Both have made it hard for her to go to sleep, so we've been pampering her by cuddling with her until she falls asleep. Long story short, it's been a challenge getting her to sleep on her own.

She's talking more and more, and her vocabulary has expanded to include "Papa" (my dad), "Mammy" (my mom), banananana (banana), "bye-da" (help me), Anna (Tom's sister is the first auntie whose name Clare can say), "dow" (down), "tee" (teeth - she loves getting her teeth brushed), and she says "Da-da" after every time you give her anything (means "Thank You" - she says it with the correct intonation and everything).

I'll just post a few pictures and put captions to give a short update on the life and times of the Herring family.

Clare took a tumble down the stairs at church. She was not a happy camper. On the upside, she's VERY cautious with steps now and never goes down without holding a hand.



Clare and Dominick on our road trip to visit our friends in Spokane



Reading with Grandpa ("Papa") after a bath. She loves reading and will hand a book to any person who looks like enough of a sucker to read her the same book 18 times.



Our little Halloween princess waiting for her aunties to come home from trick-or-treating and fill up her buckets with candy.



Clare likes cheese.



If for any reason we can't find Clare at the Herrings' house, it's likely that she's made her way in to this room and has climbed up on the piano bench. She'll sit there all by herself and play.



Clare's first experience feeding ducks at Tumwater Falls Park over Thanksgiving weekend at Grammy's. She was really interested in the ducks until they started coming closer, then she shinnied up the closest person's legs to get away. I would tear off pieces of the bread for the ducks and Clare would eat it. I ended up feeding the ducks while my mom held her.



Clare chasing down Grandpa & Daddy while we were looking for our Christmas tree this weekend.



"Hurry up, Aunt Shannon!"



Hanging out with Aunt Kristy. I'm trying to teach her to say, "Kiki," much to Kristy's chagrin. :) You're going to have a hard time being the cool aunt when you're being called "Kiki."



After the annual Christmas tree hunt, we got everyone outside to put up the Christmas lights. Tom could actually reach the peak of our house just by standing on the ladder.



So that's where I'll leave you so that I can follow our little one and go to bed. Thanks for all of your support and prayers the last week. Gibby's funeral is tomorrow, so we'll be counting on them for a bit longer.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord

Thank you all for your prayers for my grandma and my dad's family the past couple of days.

Yesterday morning, after all of us had an opportunity to talk to Gibby and say our goodbyes, her doctor explained to her what was going to happen and why. He explained that her cancer had spread rapidly and was wrapped around the blood vessels in her lungs, crippling her right lung and making her heart (already weak and with a pacemaker) have to work twice as hard to get blood moving. He said that they would take the breathing tube out and that she would begin to die then. She was so weak that they didn't think that she'd last the 4 hours that she did the day before when they tried to take the tube out. She was alert and understood everything that was going on, and shook her head vigorously when we asked her if she was afraid.

She'd been holding the rosary that I brought back from Assisi for her, and when the doctor told her the news she started rubbing the beads. She was comforted by the Rosary and prayed it daily, so my dad and aunt asked that I stay in there while she was dying (as family came and went) and just pray the Rosary out loud for her to hear. I told her that I was going to stand behind her and pray after they pulled the tubes, and she squeezed my hand and nodded her head to let me know that she wanted it. I told her that I would do my best, but that it was going to be hard for me, so if I got quiet for a minute I just needed to compose myself and that I would be praying silently.

Fortunately my sisters were there by my side the whole time. Hearing her granddaughters praying the Rosary together for her gave Gibby tremendous peace, and comforted the whole family - Catholic and non-Catholic alike.

They removed the tubes and sat her up so she could see all of us (she was conscious the whole time) as she passed away. She was in no pain, but was still able to see everyone and squeeze our hands. Modern medicine is so amazing.

We were able to make it through 2 Rosaries, a Divine Mercy chaplet, a couple of litanies, and prayed the prayer for a happy death as she stopped breathing.

I couldn't imagine a happier death. She died at peace with God and with her family surrounding her (my dad is one of 9 kids).

Gibby was a strong woman - strong in faith and in character - and she passed it on to her family. I still cannot believe that just a few days ago we were all sitting around her dining room table making our annual family Christmas craft and she was reminding all of us not to cut the wire with her good scissors.

We all went over to her house after we left the hospital, exhausted in body and spirit. I was sitting on the step next to the fireplace - my favorite spot in her house - and Clare came and sat down next to me. I wish that Gibby was here to see that Clare loves sitting there with me just as much as I loved sitting by the fire with her while I was growing up. Clare has some little curls at the ends of her hair, just like I used to. I'm going to have to find someone that will play with her hair and put it in ringlets like Gibby used to do with me. Maybe Aunt Margo...

Anyway, sorry for the rambling and random memories, but I wanted to give you an update and thank you for your prayers.

I'll post sometime soon about our family and include new pictures of Clare. She sure is getting big, and was such a bright spot in this time of sadness for all of us.

Prayers Please

I know that I haven't posted anything in a long time due to the election craziness, but I need to ask for prayers.

I am with my grandma, Margaret ("Gibby") Wigren at St. Peter's hospital in Olympia. She came in on Tuesday because of what they thought was an asthma or emphysema attack -- she basically couldn't breathe. Anyway, she's been in and out of consciousness for the past 2 days - such a blessing because I was able to talk to her and pray our favorite prayer (the Memorare) with her. Anyway, earlier today she was doing much better and they were able to remove her breathing tube and she was sitting up and talking for a couple hours.

Then she started having trouble breathing again so they had to put the tube back in and sedate her so that she's more comfortable. They did a CT scan to see if maybe she had a blood clot that was making it difficult to breathe. Good news: her doctor said that there wasn't any clotting. Bad news: her cancer has spread and taken over both of her lungs now - that's the reason she can't breathe. There's nothing they can do about it, and tomorrow we're going to have the ventilator removed. They say that she should last about 4 hours after that point.

There is an upside to this suffering. She and I had a really good conversation about a month ago after her most recent heart attack. She's at peace and is ready to die. Her soul is in a good place, and we were able to make sure that she is dying with the Sacraments. God is so faithful.

So, prayers are appreciated, as this is very difficult for my dad and all his brothers and sisters.

Thank you, and I'll update later.

Viagra: It's not just for old guys anymore

This is a fantastic article - I'm sorry for posting the whole thing, but it's really good. Let me know what you think!

Viagra: It's Not Just for Old Guys Anymore

Mary Beth Bonacci
IgnatiusInsight.com


Why the epidemic of sexual dysfunction? Because we've lost the sense of sexual meaning.

I am constantly amazed at the types of products I see advertised on TV.

When I was a kid, we never would have dreamed that we'd see ads for prescription medications. Who'd have wanted to? The drugs just weren't that interesting. ("Antibiotics. They'll make your bacterial infection go away in no time.") We did, however, see lots of commercials for cigarettes. (Does anybody else remember "You've come a long way, baby"?)

Gosh, how television has changed.

Advertising cigarettes on TV has been banned since 1970. (When, for the record, I was still a very young child.) Apparently the "powers that were" decided that smoking wasn't an activity they wanted to be promoting through the public airways. Which is fine with me.

But what has taken its place? Well, in the past few years, it's been drug advertisements. Specifically, we've seen a plethora of ads for Viagra, Enzite and other "male enhancement" products. (And yes, that's about as specific as I'm going to get.)

What's wrong with this picture?

First of all, smoking is apparently bad for our collective health. But we as a culture seem to believe unfettered sexual activity is just good clean fun. ("Cialis. Will you be ready?") I would think the carnage left in the wake of the post-sexual revolution would have disabused us of that notion.

And, speaking of the carnage of the post-sexual revolution, who'd have thought 30 years ago that we would all need so much pharmacological help in the bedroom?

Seriously. When these ads first came out, we all though they were targeting older Baby Boomer men who were just getting on in years and thus needed a little help, well, "getting it on." Of course, most of the ads featured handsome men with graying temples strolling the beach with well-preserved middle-aged women.

But apparently it's not just the old guys any more.

From everything I am reading and hearing, it seems we have an epidemic of partial and total impotence among men of all ages, as well as a corresponding "epidemic" of decreased sexual enjoyment among women.

Nothing is "dirty" any more. Porn shops, once found only in seedy neighborhoods, have been repackaged as "adult gift shops" and franchised into the suburbs. Provocative magazine covers, once hidden underneath drug store counters, are now proudly displayed at grocery store check stands.

But there remains one dirty little secret in our society. People may be having a lot more sex (or at least trying to). But they're enjoying it a lot less. And nobody wants to admit it.

What's the matter here?

I've known for years that studies on sexual satisfaction consistently reveal the same results. The most sexually satisfied people in America--the ones who apparently have the best and most frequent sex--are highly religious married people who saved sex for marriage. I've always seen those studies as evidence
that sex is best when it's done God's way. He intended it to speak a language--the language of self-donating love. And so it only stands to reason that it would be the most pleasurable when it takes place in that context.

There is an element of tremendous vulnerability in sexual expression. The heart is saying "I give myself to you forever." Bonding hormones like oxytocin are flooding the brain, working to create a strong emotional attachment between these two people. In the context of a loving marriage, these partners know that
bonding is taking place, and they are fully consenting and yielding to it. There is a real security and freedom in knowing that this person is planning to stick around--forever.

But sexual activity between the "uncommitted" is different. That bonding element is unwelcome. It has to be resisted. There is no freedom to yield oneself, no security, no assurance that this person will be around next year or next month or even tomorrow.

Apparently, that makes it more difficult to enjoy sexual activity.

This phenomenon, unfortunately, is not relationship-specific. It's not that a woman can have less-than-enjoyable sex throughout her dating years, and then transition easily into a happy, fulfilling marital sex life. Or that a man's promiscuity-induced performance issues will suddenly be cured by the love of the right woman. There is a reason that those most sexually satisfied Americans had saved sex for marriage. Sexual habits form easily. And sexual dysfunction brought on by premarital promiscuity will almost certainly follow young men and women into their marriages.

Americans don't seem to get this. We keep developing new drugs, new supplements. We churn out books and magazine articles aimed at "spicing up your sex life." We open more suburban porn stores. Everyone is trying to bring the pleasure back to sexual activity.

I don't see how any of it is going to help. The only way we're going to recover sexual pleasure is to recover sexual meaning. They're tied together. The real pleasure comes when we respect the language of sex, when we speak it honestly, in the context in which it belongs.

In other words, the sickness isn't in our nerve endings. It's in our souls.

Life at the Herring household

Despite my best efforts and good intentions, it seems that I cannot force myself to update our blog regularly. I really will try to do better - although until after the election, I don't think I can promise too much.

Work for me with the Coalition Against Assisted Suicide is going great! I had my first experience with public speaking on the issue last week - we couldn't find a speaker to go to Tacoma, so at the last minute I had to do it. I was so nervous, especially because the I-1000 person who I was up against was a retired oncology nurse - WAY better credentials than I could offer. But Tom reminded me that really, the facts stand on their own that Assisted Suicide is horrible public policy and bad medicine. And once people start to hear about just a few of the dangers in this proposed law, they change their minds quickly. It went really well! I'm giving all the credit to the Holy Spirit and my Guardian Angel. I think even a few minds and hearts might have been changed that night.

The election season is definitely bringing with it more hustle and bustle now that I'm working on a campaign, but I like staying busy and it's definitely a cause that I can throw myself in to wholeheartedly. If anyone has any questions about the proposed Initiative 1000, please feel free to give me a call. I'd love to talk with you about it. We've found that people, who although in principle may support Assisted Suicide, change their minds once they've heard some analysis on the illusory "safeguards" that are written in to the Initiative.

Anyway, now I guess you all know what my life has been revolving around lately...

But in reality, it revolves around my wonderful husband and this little redhead running around. When I say running, it's not quite to that point yet, although Clare is getting very confident with her walking and charges ahead fearlessly - and now she has the scars to show for it. On Sunday she sustained her first injury. Nothing major, but she sure was scared when she skidded face-first down the stairs at Mass outside the parish school. Her little nose is all red and skinned up. I'll take a picture and post it.

We celebrated her FIRST birthday on Sept. 6 - hard to believe that it's been a year already! We managed to cram a lot of family in to our little house to celebrate. Clare couldn't understand why all these people were in her house, and she wasn't so sure about the cake...kind of poked at it and played in the frosting a little at first.

The following weekend was her first zoo experience. She's been getting really interested in the neighborhood dogs lately, so we thought that she might like the zoo. We met my mom and Kristy at Point Defiance and took a walk around to look at all the animals. Clare had fun - she especially liked the animals that moved a lot, like the otters. She was pressing her face up to the glass saying, "OOO-OOO!" when she saw them swimming around playing. She also like the beluga whales as they swam by. The walruses, not so much. They were kind of boring.

We're trying to get her to learn that she doesn't need me to get to sleep. Still a work in progress. Although last night she did remarkably well and fell asleep all on her own.

At her one-year checkup she weighed in at 24.5 lbs (82%) and 31 inches long (96%). So, she's still a tall girl. She got 2 shots and didn't cry at all. I was impressed.

Here are a few recent pictures.

Clare's FIRST birthday!



She'd rather walk than be in the stroller.



Liking the view from atop Daddy's shoulders.



Learning to feed herself with a spoon. Note the bedhead and use of the left hand.

Clare's Walking!

She actually started taking steps on her own a couple weeks ago, but she's just now getting more daring in walking around the house by herself. Her favorite words right now are "Uh-oh!" and "Da-da." I still can't believe that she's almost a year old.

"Death With Dignity?"

This is a great video produced by Washington's chapter of the Christian Medical Association that highlights some of the main problems with public policy like Assisted Suicide.